Satan Announces Retirement Thanks To TikTok - Galt's Gulch

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Satan Announces Retirement Thanks To TikTok

Posted by allosaur 1 year, 1 month ago to Humor

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Today Satan told Fake News reporters burning in hell that he is stepping down from his role as "the adversary."
The Devil credits TikTok, an invention he developed with business partner Xi Jinping, for completely taking over his job description.
"Hell's freaking bells, even I'm a little scared of TikTok," Satan said. "I never use that damn thing. Not me!"
In related Babylon Bee news, Communist Dictator Gary Newsom recently welcomed Chinese President Xi to SanFranSicko.
There was not a homeless person or a speck of poo in sight. Good job, El Presidnte Greaser Dude!

SOURCE URL: https://babylonbee.com/news/satan-announces-early-retirement-thanks-to-tiktok

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6

Posted by mccannon01 1 year, 1 month ago

I know it's only satire, but the BB really screwed up this time by picking up on an obvious satanic lie. Smirk smirk.

Oh, don't forget to click on the BB's take on 10 Republican budget cuts to balance the budget, LOL!

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Posted by freedomforall 1 year, 1 month ago

C'mon, man.
Everyone knows that satan must be a white guy. [/s]

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  Posted by Olduglycarl 1 year, 1 month ago
  
  I thought he was a RED Guy! can't stay white next to the fire . . .
  
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  - 6
    
    Posted by allosaur 1 year, 1 month ago
    
    I became a red guy when sunburned but hopefully I'll never get hellburned.
    
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    - 5
      
      Posted by Olduglycarl 1 year, 1 month ago
      
      Nobody but Satan was hell bent to get hell burnt!
      
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      - 4
        
        Posted by allosaur 1 year, 1 month ago
        
        According to the poet John Milton, Lucifer thought it better to rule in hell that to serve in heaven.
        That's what dino calls a "some like it hot" kinky masochist.
        
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        3
        
        Posted by Olduglycarl 1 year, 1 month ago
        
        Speaking of Kinky, Looks like China found another Fortune Cookie to play with IN THE MEME TYME (just published). . . this one needs no strings!
        Just a link: https://www.galtsgulchonline.com/post...
        
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    - 3
      
      Posted by Suzanne43 1 year, 1 month ago
      
      You won’t great Dino. You are too good of a Conservative to be hellburned. Now dictator Newsom, that’s another story.
      
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      - 3
        
        Posted by allosaur 1 year, 1 month ago
        
        Me dino~~~-1
        Newsome~~0
        
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  Posted by allosaur 1 year, 1 month ago
  
  Me dino agrees.
  Just studied the Babylon Bee photo. I can see the dark pupils so I guess those eyes are blue.
  That along with a Caucasian looking nose means the devil is a red white man a bit dirtied by some hellish soot.
  
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