"We Can't Overstate how DANGEROUS this is!!! so righteously shrieked (for being both gay and black) Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre,anguishing as she pulled at her mopsy-topsy hair.
And as she continued to plead, "Yes, comrades, We The Regime still controls Facebook, Google, Apple, Instagram, YouTube, Hollywood, TIME, USAToday, The Wall Street Journal and pretty much all the rest, but we don't control Twitter and it's stupid unsupervised free speech."
"Save our democracy!" now screams every station, channel, publication and everything on the internet save for The Bee and some antiquated Ayn Rand something. "Wah! Gah! Save our democracy! Save our democracy!"
"Free speech on Twitter is destroying our democracy," outgoing House Speaker Nancy Pelosi proclaimed at a San Fransicko town hall meeting.
"What about saving our constitutional republic?" shouted some fool from a back row.
"What damn republic?" Pelosi cried, brandishing her gavel. "We don't need no stinking republic! Security! Security, arrest that domestic terrorist!"
"Yes! Arrest that enemy of the people!" agreed Chuck Schumer, now slithering into the town hall with a creepy smile. "Now everyone, sing along with me--ALL NIGHT LONG!~~to Save our democracy! Save our democracy! Save our democracy!"