Thank goodness we got instruction in this vital matter, but when is the government going to turn to other crucial issues? There are still no instructions on clipping tonails, taking out the trash, vacuuming carpets, safely petting cats, flossing, push-ups, the proper quantity of milk in one's cereal, grocery shopping, and how long to boil spaghetti noodles. Until we're told how to do these things, we're not getting the good government we're paying for!

Finally, the article gets down to “marshmallow basics,” and starts by recommending the use of a roasting stick “of at least 30 inches.” At that length, it should have a bipod and a grip for positive control. A pistol grip would work best. Add an automatic marshmallow reloading feature, paint it black and, before you know it, they'll be banned from schools... Americans don't need those extra calories anyway! Especially in those huge 1 lb bags!

To think that we the taxpayers paid some Big Brother PC government employee to write all that useless blather. Who would bother to read that anyway? Only Michelle, I suppose.
I recall roasting marshmallows as a kid with a bunch of other little kids after dark in south Alabama during the 50s. Some adult gave me a stick and showed me where an open bag of marshmallows was. I was expected to do figure out how to do the rest. I did not set myself on fire and had a yummy good time. End of story.

Some bean counter justifying his or her job by "staying busy". And in the process, demeaning the intelligence of the average human being.

I will stick to my method of lighting the marshmallow on fire, then frantically blowing it out just in time thank you very much. That is way more fun. Marshmallow covered fruit? Gross. They'll have to take my flaming marshmallow out of my burnt up dead hands before I'll follow those crazy suggestions. The part that gets me is that someone in the government is getting paid to spend time on writing crap like that. Boo.

This is incredible. Every time I think I have a measure on how patronizing our culture is...

Geeze.

Jan

Clearly indicating the opinion of our socialist government self-licking ice cream cone.
"Of course these people need more rules and us to rule them. They can't even toast marshmallows safely."

OMG!!
Being a Boy Scout or a family camper would probably drive the writer(s) of this crazy! When I was camping, we cooked our meals, baked bread and yes, roasted marshmallows, in ways that would send these pseudo nannies screaming. Somehow, we all survived. The only major pain results were caused by poison ivy, poison sumac and mosquito bites. We now have salves and sprays which pretty much take care of those hazards.

Reminds me of the asinine instructions for safely disposing of a CFL which - if you haven't seen them - are just short of calling a bomb squad. They actually DO suggest calling HazMat if you break one.

Better idea: get rid of CFL's! The standard lightbulb works just fine!

...and I'll bet it cost more than $100,000 to publish. Who said the government doesn't create anything. More kindling, anyone?

I wonder what they would say about my roasting a
boot sole when my feet were freezing! -- j

Just be glad smores have not been outlawed, yet.

seriously? we are PAYING people to do this???

Really?? We need this?

this is a big fight in my family. I like snoogoo's method. the rest of the family are golden brown and bubbly experts. there are property rights in roasting a marshmallow. would people attend to their lives like they attend to their perfectly cooked sugary goodness...which will be immediately sandwiched between Toblerone and graham cracker

How about wiping you're a##, you forgot that one.

Next up - how to safely roast Starbursts.

And if you haven't tried them, they are delicious.