A good joke for St. Pat's
Posted by Non_mooching_artist 10 years, 10 months ago to Entertainment
Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Washington DC parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of air and to see the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the US House of Representatives for assistance. The conversation went like this: "Good morning. This is Speaker Pelosi. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. T...his is Father O'Malley at St.Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Speaker Pelosi, considering herself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!" There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.
Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, that's certainly true, but we are also obliged to first notify the next of kin."
He promptly called the US House of Representatives for assistance. The conversation went like this: "Good morning. This is Speaker Pelosi. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. T...his is Father O'Malley at St.Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Speaker Pelosi, considering herself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!" There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.
Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, that's certainly true, but we are also obliged to first notify the next of kin."
Sean, Patrick, and Angus, brothers 3, planned to migrate to America but only had funds for one. Sean was chosen to go, make some money and send back for his 2 brothers.
Sean and his brothers always had a beer together after work and Sean kept up the tradition, ordering a beer for himself and one for each of his brothers. He proceeded to drink all 3. This went on for a few months and then one day in the early spring Sean only ordered 2 beers. The bartender, who had previously been told the story of the 3 brothers wondered whether one of the brothers had passed. "No," says Sean, "I gave up beer for Lent."