It's time again for the annual 'Stella Awards'!
For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old
Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the
McDonald's in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee. You remember,
she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was
driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right? That's
right; these are awards for the most outlandish dumb lawsuits and verdicts
in the U.S.
You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep
your head scratcher handy.

Here are the Stellas for year -- 2013:

* SEVENTH PLACE *
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised
by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son

* SIXTH PLACE *
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the
car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

* FIFTH PLACE *
Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house
he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson,
the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the
garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the
door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it
shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a
case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's
insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury
said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish.
We should all have this kind of anguish

* FOURTH PLACE *
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's
when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten
on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle
was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much
as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been
provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over
the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

* THIRD PLACE *
Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a
Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a
spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink
was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30
seconds earlier during an argument.
*SECOND PLACE*
Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club
in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor,
knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to
sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah,
plus dental expenses.
* FIRST PLACE *
This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was: Mrs. Merv
Grazinski, of Oklahoma City , Oklahoma , who purchased new 32-foot
Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football
game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at
70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the
Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor
home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly,
Nrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual
that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control
was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down?

$1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home.
Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just
in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor
home.

If you think the USA court system is out of control, be sure to pass this
one on.