I thought the whole way TJ and Madison waged the War of 1812 was instructive on just how hard it is to do. Everything they expected failed, they had no money, they strangled their main source of income (excise taxes on exports/imports) and in the end, it all didn't matter, as the whole question was impressment which Britain ended with the fall of Napoleon. Not much happened except Washington got renovated ( and a really bad storm smacked the British right after they burned it, kinda poetic). You are correct in the assertion that war in and of itself is self defeating, even the victor ends up losing, look at how much the US spent post WW2. A good tactical strike capability and the proof you will use it seems a better deterrent.