When they want CONTROL.

I think it's because they want their own way, and they want it REALLY BADLY. There is also a component that the way they want is the right and good way - not just for a single person, mind you, but for all people.
When other people don't fall into line, agree that it is the right and good way, begin to do it that way, and start working on convincing others, the original source will sometimes try convincing the non-complyers using positive and negative methods: arguments, rewards, penalties. At this point, I thin the original source is still convinced that his way is best, and he just has to find the right method of convincing others. Somewhere in there, he stumbles on/has suggested to him/ thinks up the use of force.
Surely, he thinks, once people are forced to do the right thing, they will realize the validity of his point and come to it willingly - then, he can stop forcing them to it.
But there is always some number of contrarians who don't want to do anything someone else has suggested, or some thoughtful people who see the proposed action as, bluntly, dumb [typo: dung] and some who just want to be left alone. And then there are the children of both those who comply and those who do not, who have their own opinion and "have" to be convinced.
It never ends, so the force can never end, just because some guy wants his own way and is willing to go all out to get it, and get everyone to agree with him, too.

Wonky, do you mean "men" as in "humans", or "men" as in "male humans". Sure makes a difference!

Hubris and envy. They think they know better how you should live, and/or they desire the unearned at your expense.

This is why Khan from the original Star Trek series was a such a great villain. He was smarter and stronger than most people, so he believed he should be in charge and was doing the world a favor by leading them. This led him to brutal acts of force, all the while thinking he was offering the world a chance to accomplish great things under his leadership.

Out of fear.

Particularly unfounded emotionally derived fear.

Strong minded people, not just men tend to believe they are correct in every thing they do and assert power upon the rest of the people. When the least amout of resistance is felt, force and violence is the next step. Both men and women have a certain amount of testosterone in their body and the higher that level is the higher the level of force that is used by that person. I have said that there can be two people left on the planet and they will be fighting about something.