Never meet your Idols! I say that's wrong!
Posted by CaptainKirk 1 year, 2 months ago to Philosophy
This is just an opinion piece because I've recently re-heard this old quote. It comes from the fact that if you Idolize someone, then you stand a strong chance of destroying your own illusion when you meet them. It's quite true.
My case is my pseudo namesake... Captain James T. Kirk... (William Shatner). I was actually named after Kirk Douglas.
My father wanted Douglas as my middle name. My mom said NO. My dad said "It's Douglas, or nothing"... So I have NO middle name. But it's a great story on HOW NOT to negotiate. LOL. Or how poor negotiation leads to poor outcomes.
My father got to name me, my mother likely resented it. And I had no idea who Kirk Douglas was. The first Kirk I knew was Shatner!
And quickly I fell in love with Captain Kirk. I am not sure when it started, but eventually I would introduce my self as "Kirk... As in Captain". It's a good for a smile or a laugh... And people remember it. They often remember Captain, and call me that.
So, my prized possession? An Autographed Photo of Captain Kirk... Signed:
"To Kirk, From Kirk" (with William Shatners signature underneath).
I paid for it at Comicon. And they said they had NO IDEA if he would sign it this way. It was his choice. But he was "LESS Drunk than usual this morning..." (I kid you not, or less hungover, whatever). After I paid, I continued to hear his staff talk about him and his drinking...
We talked for about 3-5 minutes (not a lot of people behind me). I was wearing a Russian Hockey Jersey... And he was a fan...
I thanked him. I thanked him for portraying a character that HAD CHARACTER. That I know the job of the Captain is to keep the crew safe... And that the crew has to appreciate that the ENTIRE crew is important... And that losses happen. We do our best.
I could not be happier to meet my hero. He was genuinely warm, yet OLD and TIRED and WORN.
I accept that he PLAYED my hero. He PERSONIFIED my hero. That makes him a KIND OF hero to me. His autograph elevated William Shatner in my eyes.
I feel bad that he drinks and does whatever is not good for him, but that's his life... And "My Hero" lived on a screen A LIFETIME ago. This person has had a full life... And nothing he does affects my hero, in all honesty.
So... I agree... Don't meet your heroes... If you are EXPECTING something from them. But definitely meet them, and thank them if they so much as touched your life back then... Because YOU may just be the ONE positive thing they take to the grave. They may not care about you, or even care that they impacted you... In all honesty... We choose our own heroes. For our own reasons... At specific times in our life...
And I would never turn down a chance to meet any of my current heroes. Flaws and All... With acceptance and respect.
I know they are not perfect on any measure. But their existence is a net positive...
And I hope I get a chance to meet President Trump some day... Because he was NOT PLAYING a character I liked...
He is BEING the HERO we all NEED RIGHT NOW!
I didn't expect to write that last paragraph, and I will keep this under Philosophy.
Love your heroes. Put their good values on a pedestal... Not the person!
My case is my pseudo namesake... Captain James T. Kirk... (William Shatner). I was actually named after Kirk Douglas.
My father wanted Douglas as my middle name. My mom said NO. My dad said "It's Douglas, or nothing"... So I have NO middle name. But it's a great story on HOW NOT to negotiate. LOL. Or how poor negotiation leads to poor outcomes.
My father got to name me, my mother likely resented it. And I had no idea who Kirk Douglas was. The first Kirk I knew was Shatner!
And quickly I fell in love with Captain Kirk. I am not sure when it started, but eventually I would introduce my self as "Kirk... As in Captain". It's a good for a smile or a laugh... And people remember it. They often remember Captain, and call me that.
So, my prized possession? An Autographed Photo of Captain Kirk... Signed:
"To Kirk, From Kirk" (with William Shatners signature underneath).
I paid for it at Comicon. And they said they had NO IDEA if he would sign it this way. It was his choice. But he was "LESS Drunk than usual this morning..." (I kid you not, or less hungover, whatever). After I paid, I continued to hear his staff talk about him and his drinking...
We talked for about 3-5 minutes (not a lot of people behind me). I was wearing a Russian Hockey Jersey... And he was a fan...
I thanked him. I thanked him for portraying a character that HAD CHARACTER. That I know the job of the Captain is to keep the crew safe... And that the crew has to appreciate that the ENTIRE crew is important... And that losses happen. We do our best.
I could not be happier to meet my hero. He was genuinely warm, yet OLD and TIRED and WORN.
I accept that he PLAYED my hero. He PERSONIFIED my hero. That makes him a KIND OF hero to me. His autograph elevated William Shatner in my eyes.
I feel bad that he drinks and does whatever is not good for him, but that's his life... And "My Hero" lived on a screen A LIFETIME ago. This person has had a full life... And nothing he does affects my hero, in all honesty.
So... I agree... Don't meet your heroes... If you are EXPECTING something from them. But definitely meet them, and thank them if they so much as touched your life back then... Because YOU may just be the ONE positive thing they take to the grave. They may not care about you, or even care that they impacted you... In all honesty... We choose our own heroes. For our own reasons... At specific times in our life...
And I would never turn down a chance to meet any of my current heroes. Flaws and All... With acceptance and respect.
I know they are not perfect on any measure. But their existence is a net positive...
And I hope I get a chance to meet President Trump some day... Because he was NOT PLAYING a character I liked...
He is BEING the HERO we all NEED RIGHT NOW!
I didn't expect to write that last paragraph, and I will keep this under Philosophy.
Love your heroes. Put their good values on a pedestal... Not the person!
"Living in the fish-eye lens
Caught in the camera eye
I have no heart to lie
I can't pretend a stranger is a long-awaited friend."
(from "Limelight," 1981)
What that line reinforced to me - I think I'd always sensed it even before I met The Professor face-to-face and got his auto, though I wouldn't have been able to put it in as poetic a form - is something every one of us fanboys should always keep in mind:
Over years of imbibing a given famous person's output, whether it's music or television or movies or books or whatever, we naturally gain a lot of knowledge about that person. If it's someone we admire and generally like, we start to feel like they're an old friend. But to that famous person, whoever it may be, when you show up all starry-eyed at that autograph table (or just on that freezing-arse-cold arena loading dock in 1978 in my case,) you are a complete stranger, and you want something from him. If it's someone of the alien gender who's certifiably lustworthy, the imperative of self-discipline and consideration is doubly important - though I have yet to have come face to face with any of my heartthrobs. You're real familiar with them; to them you are a total stranger. Respect their individuality and everything that individuality entails: Privacy, courtesy, respect, and again the fact that this person does not know you from Adam.
Also keep in mind another song lyric, this time an old REO Speedwagon thing:
"I know the neighborhood
And talk is cheap when the story is good
And the tales grow taller on down the line."
Shatner may or may not like drink too much, but aside from the hearsay nature of the story and the malleable nature of the qualifier "too much," the question would be "What of it?" I probably drink way, way more than I ought to (She Who Must Be Obeyed certainly has an opinion on the subject but I try not to listen - for the record she's jamming on that particular riff right now as I type this,) but the test is whether or not that in itself is something bad.
Shatner (like me,) despite being some thirty years older than me, is still productive when a whole lot of stars - and ordinary non-stars like me - would be camped out in retirement. I watch him all the time on "Unexplained Mysteries" and despite his age he's a great host for that show. And yeah, along with Captain Kirk, T.J. Hooker and the like, the man has always presented himself publicly as an admirable person. So more power to him.
I've met a bewildering number of stars over the years - mostly musicians - and whether they measure up to your expectations of larger-than-life heroism or they fail to do so depends on the individual involved, not surprisingly. Some I've long idolized have come across as jerks in person (the ever-brilliant Scorps guitarist Uli Roth stands out on that one,) and some I'd expected to be aloof turned out to be amazingly friendly (the late, great Gary Moore actually invited me and two other fanboy-dweebs into his tour bus and sat us down at his table to sign autographs, back in '87; I got into a good-natured argument over politics with Quarterflash singer Rindy Ross at a concert that doubled as a promo for a Leftwing ballot measure, and we both ended up laughing and pantomiming boxers over our differences, etc.)
I think that meeting your idols is always a good thing. Provided that you a.) realize that they do not know you from Adam and you should not expect them to, b.) realize they are individuals with individual personalities, c.) realize they may or may not be having a good day on the day you meet them, d.) do not, under any circumstances, forget the value of their work itself, and e.) do not, under any circumstances, forget the priceless, indispensable value of seeking inspiring, iconic heroes to learn from and to emulate.
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I also find myself quoting Rush lyrics on many occasions. Very sad to think that Neil Peart won't be writing any more of them.
One of my favorites is "if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice" (from Free Will)
+10,000 for actually responding with a lot more engaging information than my original post! And for your ability to tie it back to Lyrics. And finally, for clarifying the points that we completely agree on...
When we meet our heroes... It's not THEM that are failing to measure up... It's our expectations (Fish eyes, false knowledge/beliefs, and trying to replace their values with the "actor" or "person")...
Heroes are valuable. And I hope that everyone is able to be some kind of hero to someone, at some point in their life... NOT through trying/wanting that... But through the expressions of the values that create heroes naturally.
Last night at dinner, someone reminded me of the line where Kirk was told "If you do this, you will NEVER sit in the Captains chair again!" (And, of course he did it!).
But thank you for the addition to what was written. I am glad it resonated with more than just me. Sometimes "Old Wisdom" is simply wrong...