Bill Is A Fucking Jackass | CeeDubb.com
Anyone else see this crappy analogy tossed around social media?
My response:
I LOVE it. Except add in the part where the IRS requires your company to hire 4 people to audit the soda machine monthly and ensure it is in compliance with federal law. This means your boss has to lay off 6 personnel to ensure the books stay balanced. Why 6? Well, 4 to offset the administrative penalties and fees the auditors require and 2 to offset all the sodas that he is now required to provide free of charge to all of his workers.
Luckily this specific soda machine has rules that only apply to 50 or more full time workers so the boss is incentivized to move most of his personnel to part time just to keep the business doors open.
Another great byproduct is now that the soda machine is free for all workers (whether they need it or not) people will use it more frequently (whether they need it or not) which is pretty damn taxing on a health care industry, er, soda machine that is already quite bogged down.
What's better is that when I walk up to a free soda machine I don't waste my time with a measly $0.50 Diet Coke. I might as well get that $2.50 MONSTER energy drink. They both give me the caffeine to get through my afternoon, sure, but what the heck, I'm not paying. When the MONSTERs and Diet Cokes fly off the shelves faster than ever the law of Supply and Demand does some pretty funny things with the price of those products (Spoiler Alert: it increases OR you run out of product and have to start rationing).
Someone has to pay for it. There's no wonder Bill is campaigning against the machine. He's paying for everyone else's drinks!
Annnnnnd scene.
Answer: Fire everyone who is up for reelection regardless of political affiliation. Everyone is effing this up from the idiots who wrote the bill and forced it through without reading it to the idiots that are shutting down the gov't trying to remove it. All of them.
My response:
I LOVE it. Except add in the part where the IRS requires your company to hire 4 people to audit the soda machine monthly and ensure it is in compliance with federal law. This means your boss has to lay off 6 personnel to ensure the books stay balanced. Why 6? Well, 4 to offset the administrative penalties and fees the auditors require and 2 to offset all the sodas that he is now required to provide free of charge to all of his workers.
Luckily this specific soda machine has rules that only apply to 50 or more full time workers so the boss is incentivized to move most of his personnel to part time just to keep the business doors open.
Another great byproduct is now that the soda machine is free for all workers (whether they need it or not) people will use it more frequently (whether they need it or not) which is pretty damn taxing on a health care industry, er, soda machine that is already quite bogged down.
What's better is that when I walk up to a free soda machine I don't waste my time with a measly $0.50 Diet Coke. I might as well get that $2.50 MONSTER energy drink. They both give me the caffeine to get through my afternoon, sure, but what the heck, I'm not paying. When the MONSTERs and Diet Cokes fly off the shelves faster than ever the law of Supply and Demand does some pretty funny things with the price of those products (Spoiler Alert: it increases OR you run out of product and have to start rationing).
Someone has to pay for it. There's no wonder Bill is campaigning against the machine. He's paying for everyone else's drinks!
Annnnnnd scene.
Answer: Fire everyone who is up for reelection regardless of political affiliation. Everyone is effing this up from the idiots who wrote the bill and forced it through without reading it to the idiots that are shutting down the gov't trying to remove it. All of them.
I disagree, wholeheartedly.
God speed, House Republicans!
"this is awesome!"
she's not paying for her sodas...
Ok, let's expand on this example just a little more to make it more "real life," shall we?
First off, Bill's office has a group people that were elected by the workers to make decisions for bettering employee's morale and overall happiness at work. One day, that group decides the office needs a soda machine. There was no vote in the office, just a vote in the morale group, and they bring in the machine. Upon doing this, they also decide that if there's a soda machine that EVERYBODY in the office needs to have a soda. Everyday. Whether they need it or not. Everyone must have a soda. On top of that, they wont tell the employees what kinds of soda are in the machine until it arrives, or how much it will cost. The group decides, and the soda machine arrives.
Now Bill is just an employee. He drinks soda occasionally, and likes a certain brand because he knows it's good, but he doesn't drink it everyday because that's expensive. When Bill finds out that soda is now mandatory at work he gets outraged and petitions to remove the soda machine, because Bill doesn't have the budget to buy a soda everyday. The morale group campaigns that everyone needs soda, and manages to even convince people that don't drink soda that they need to. Now more people that don't drink soda are becoming aware of the rule and try to opt out. "You can bring in your own soda," they are told, "to keep from buying a soda from the soda machine every day. If you don't bring a soda, and don't buy your own soda from our machine, you'll still be docked the cost of a soda per day from your pay. It's only fair to everyone." When the machine arrives, they finally disclose that the sodas cost employees $2.50 each, but you can't see what soda you get when you push a button. It's just random luck that you'll get what you want. On top of that, they secretly neglect to tell people that the best price they could get on soda was $4 a can, but they sell them at $2.50 because they believe everyone can afford that, regardless of if they can.
Bill is in accounting and knows math, and he will not stand for people having money deducted from their paychecks that are not actually drinking or bringing soda. He also recognizes that the company's money is being spent frivolously and the cost is far more than the return. It will eventually bankrupt the company. After numerous petitions to have the machine removed, he finally stops processing payroll, and will not resume until the machine is removed. The morale group will not budge, and refuses to remove the machine, or change any rules surrounding it. The company is at a standstill, and must close down until the issue is resolved.
Bill isn't such a jackass now, is he?
Was Janine being sarcastic?