Ending the Jihad
We’re not stopping Islam with guns so, let’s try laughs.
Another day, another Muslim killing a bunch of non-Muslims and, you’re failing to see the humor in mass shootings, frenzied stabbings, homicide vests, beheadings, crucifixions and immolations and of course, you’re right.
Each of those gruesome public spectacles with which Islam has gifted us is a tragedy for the victims and victims’ families and communities. Not only do they die, often painfully but, they’re deprived of the chance to tell their loved ones goodbye, or die with dignity or courage. Either they die instantly or, they’re drugged and made to appear passive, helpless, hapless in the hands of their heroic, swashbuckling executioners. That’s the intent.
So, why laugh at them? Because, the alternative is killing them. Do you really want to try to kill one-billion-four-hundred-million people?
The videos are meant to flood the arena of social media with the impression that Islam isn’t just competing, it’s winning, it’s crushing and humiliating its enemies, who are so weak they deserve humiliation, so pathetic they’re not worthy of empathy, so pitiful they’re not even worth pity.
They allowed themselves to be killed so, they deserved to be killed.
We don’t all see it that way but, many do. How many? Hundreds of millions. We know that because this is what Islam is all about and, there are around a billion-four-hundred-million Muslims in the world, all of whom, by virtue of their daily pledge to Allah and Muhammad, accept the righteousness of Jihad and the necessity of killing non-Muslims.
Tens of thousands have already paid their way to the Middle East to get in on the free and unfettered killing of non-Muslims and, of the remaining number an untold percent plan to and will embark on their personal Jihads in their own time and at wherever in the world they happen to be.
Television is full of inexpert experts wishfully calling them lone wolves, or domestic terrorists, or radical Islamists, agendaists striving to connect them to ISIL or avoid connecting them to ISIL depending on whether there’s a record of direct contact between them but, these experts and agendaists are either willfully ignorant or missing the point. It doesn’t matter if two Muslims have never met or talked to each other or shared an SMS, they know what to do, they have their orders, they have the same play book.
It’s called the Holy Quran and, it gives them their instructions. They must act but, each Muslim has the leeway to choose his or her individual assignment and time frame and, he or she has the freedom to light his or her own fuse.
Omar Mateen’s fuse just burned down, whether because his career was going nowhere or, he thought the FBI was closing in, or his family was about to discover he was gay, or his wife was unhappy, or he’d just been jilted by a lover — his personal fuse burned down and, his personally chosen assignment was to kill as many gay infidels as he could.
He didn’t do it because Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi told him to, he did it because the Quran told him to. He did it because he was gay, a mortal Islamic sin and, his only route to paradise was to martyr himself while killing unbelievers. That the forty-nine unbelievers he killed were likely gay might have been a bonus in his and Islam’s eyes but, it wasn’t necessary, nor was it the goal. The goal was to kill infidels. Those were his orders, straight from the Quran. How, when and where he did it was up to him.
This is the lurking threat posed by apparently peaceful Muslims; their holy book orders them to kill infidels and offers them rewards for doing so. Even if they’re not dedicated Jihadis, when something in their lives goes wrong or, someone in their lives pushes them, martyrdom, being killed while killing infidels is the honorable, admirable way out. Omar Mateen went from gay Islamic sinner, doomed to everlasting hell, to celebrated Jihadi warrior in one night, by killing infidels and gay infidels at that.
The most fitting term for peaceful Muslims is Sleeper Jihadis who, when an especially attractive target presents itself or when life becomes disappointing or when Jihadi peer pressure tips their hands, will light their own fuses and drive down the street, shooting at random pedestrians or, shooting up an unprotected military recruiting office or, taking their banned weapons to the base gymnasium and killing their fellow soldiers or, taking their illegal weapons to the office Christmas party and killing the coworkers who have just thrown them a baby shower or —
— going to the neighborhood gay club and one by one, shooting unarmed people with whom they had previously socialized, until the ammo runs out because there were so many to kill and it took the police so long to arrive.
Mateen couldn’t kill himself, another mortal sin. He had to wait for the police to martyr him so he could get his free pass to paradise. How many victims bled to death while the SWAT team waited, negotiating with him, apparently not comprehending, he wasn’t holding hostages, he was just waiting for them to come in and shoot him so, he could die a martyr.
Allah-u-akbar!
And before the blood dries, millions of young people all around the world will have read their posts and downloaded their pre-massacre selfies and watched their anti-western civilization rants and messaged each other about how cool the cute Muslims were who killed all the boring, ordinary non-Muslims.
And I’m not talking about Muslim kids, I’m talking about good ol’ corn fed American kids.
We appear to have entered a post-moral age. One in which those young enough to have had their sensibilities completely dulled by the games they play and what they see every day on the web, instead of judging the perps for taking innocent lives, judge the security and execution videos for their cool factors and production values, as though they’re watching video games.
“Did you see him cut that guy’s head off? Did you see the blood? Cool!”
Although Islam embraces post-morality, we can’t blame this on Islam. Most of us aren’t Muslim and post-morality has been with us for awhile. Maybe we’re desensitized to suffering because virtual reality is becoming so real and, reality is becoming so virtual. Everything’s on the web. Maybe we’re seeing even the moral obscenity of the execution videos as a slightly less cool but, more real version of a video game.
When nineteen year old Robert Hawkins shot up a shopping mall in Omaha, wounding four and killing eight, before police arrived and, he ended his teenage tantrum in the now all-too-familiar way, by shooting himself in the head, he left a suicide note, saying he wanted out of his meaningless life and “just want to take a few pieces of shit with me.”
You might think he was getting even with people who’d wronged him but, not so. He knew none of the twelve pieces of shit he shot, nor did they know him.
“Just think tho, I’m going to be fucking famous!” They lost their dreams, their loves, their families and their lives so an unhappy teenager could have his fifteen minutes of fame.
That was nine years ago and, had I not named him, none of you would know who he was. Eight people died so he could be completely forgotten.
Tragic, right? Not nearly as tragic as his teenage friends’ reactions. They defended him. One explained to reporters it was all good because “He wanted to go out like a star.” Another of his friends threatened to kill a girl who, post-massacre,

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