Randy, I know of a few situations such as you describe. What I have observed is that the parents leave everything to the worthless offspring, (ignoring their successful, hardworking children), and this, combined with the disability and other government assistance those adult children manage to collect, they actually get along pretty well.
Can you detect the contempt I feel for these people? I have several very elderly patients who have an adult child who suddenly appears out of nowhere to "take care of Mom or Dad". The parent tells me how wonderful it is for the child to do this "for them". Then I have to watch as that child decides that Mom or Dad no longer needs good dental care because it's just not worth the cost. After all, it's the child's money now, at least in his mind. I get pretty disgusted, but there's nothing I can do.

Sorry, but I have little sympathy for kids who move back home. You may have a degree in 16th century poetry and find it hard to get a job that suits you. So....? Suck it up. Rent a coldwater flat. Get a job flipping burgers. Go back to school and get degree that's more useful. Go to a trade school. Electrical linemen are making $130K a year. Plumbers. carpenters roofers are employed. The only reason for going back and burdening parents is if one becomes disabled and even then, there are options available. It makes me want to brag about my kids, but I won't since I've done it often enough in these provinces.

Blow off the easy money and then try for the easy reverse mortgage, when that fails (because the parents rented the house, or it was already RM'd) they become homeless. And blame the parents.

Then again, I've seen some family antics that belong on a soap opera rather in real life - people putting the parents in a nursing home to sell their property so they can take the money and up their standard of living, or hiring a sleazeball lawyer and changing the will or trust of a person going non compos mentis and have them sign it to pocket the money before their imminent demise. Or having a medical PoA on them and then arrange to withhold treatment on a sick or dying parent to maximize what they get post-mortem from the estate...

Good topic, and yes, I do.

I got a men's hair salon for my haircuts, it's kind of an upper-end ($30-$40) price range, but I like the service, I get a complimentary beer while I wait, they have good sports programs going on the flat screens in the waiting area, and I can book an appointment a month in advance. I've been seeing the same young girl there for about 4 or 5 years now. I think she was about 23 when I had my first appointment with her, and she's probably nearing 27-28 now. She's still single, extremely attractive, but an impressive head on her shoulders.

At an early visit, I had mentioned my dog, it would have been about 12 at the time, it's now a 17 year old McNab (similar to a border collie), and its not uncommon for a McNab to live to be 25-30 years old. I had made the joke that when I brought him home from the pound when I was about 25, I didn't anticipate it to be a life-changing event that would accompany me into my social security days. She laughed, and shared that she had an older dog as well, we started talking about it a lot. Later, I had mentioned that my dad moved back into town, and my dad is quite the ass-hat, to say the least, he embarrasses the hell out of me. This time he's on marriage #8 with some chick he met on the Internet and moved into her 'development' with her (he sold his horse ranch in Arizona to move into her double-wide in a trailer park). She chuckled, but has kind of shared her story.

She was 14 when she had to start figuring out how to make ends meet. Her mom was a drunk and a drug addict. Tiff took every baby-sitting job she could get, even posting in Craigslist, picked up recycling from every unit in her apartment building to get the CRV refunds, and literally took on the role of paying the rent and buying something to eat with that for 2 years. Her mom was rarely there. When she was, she wanted to borrow money (from her 14 year old daughter that was paying the rent and buying groceries). By the time she was 16, she could legally work and was working 60-hours a week at least. She ultimately had to drop out of high school and get a GED online just to make more time for working. She then went to cosmetology school, not because she loved it, but because she could earn a decent living without much for education. She then figured out pretty quick that as a personable person, and cute, she made a lot more money on tips from guys than from women or kids so gave up the Great Clips thing really quick for a specialized men-only salon. Hey, I get it, she gives me a 15 minute scalp-massage after washing my hair with her cute self above my face, of course I'm going to give her a $10 tip. She's booked-solid for 30-45 days out, all the time. She has never had to turn tricks or anything else that a young girl in her position might have had to do, but it was hard, I'm sure.

Her mom showed up a couple of years ago again, and she told me a couple of days later when I had my regular appointment, that she actually had to ask her to leave. She kicked her own mother out. She came home, her apartment was a mess, she had been selling Tiff's groceries from the refrigerator door-to-door to people asking if they wanted a good deal on some steaks or whatever, and the living room was filled with heroin smoke.

I think I might be the closest thing to a father-figure she may have ever had, as I don't get the impression that she has ever told anyone else this stuff, she's very closed-off in a raised-hard kind of way. I think our common love of our dogs, and our common shitty-parents is kind of what opened her up a little. She told me that she wants to find a nice guy, she wants to have a kid of her own, every few months she goes on a vacation somewhere exotic, most recently with a new guy she has (young attorney I think) and they went zip-lining in Costa Rica and before that was a jungle tour of Colombia or something like that. If she has someone, it's a date, otherwise she takes herself.

Sadly, I told her she made the right choice. The parent/child role is reversed in her case, her mother had never did anything to help her in life, and at this point is just a boat anchor. I had to make the same choices with my father, I put up with his antics for a lunch a couple of times a month, but I just can't get involved in his foolishness, as I know what damage it did to myself and my brother growing up.

She said she goes to church and is taught to forgive, and I told her that forgiveness and enablement are two different things. Her mom failed her, it doesn't entitle her to ruin her future adult life, or her children's lives. I told her that forgiveness is being at peace with her mom's offenses against her. But it doesn't require her to provide her with free room & board. She may be able to change her mind when her mom grows up, or she may have to hold firm I told her.

One of my best childhood buddies seemed to acquire agoraphobia after his mother died when we were teenagers. She was a single mother and he just lived with her. Apparently, she set him up with a massive annuity (perhaps seeing a problem) and he's managed to live in the same condo for 35 more years so far. The place is a pig sty too.

The coming wave will be all of these children with autism after their parents die. I have set up a living trust for my son and will do everything I can to leave him with enough (which is a hell of a lot). But, a vast majority of these kids-turned-adult (hundreds of thousands of them) will be absorbed into a system that doesn't want them, can't afford them and can't take care of them. This epidemic will hammer America...

You know, I know it must happen but in my experience and with people I have observed...people in this situation that did work for a living and experienced adversity seem to make it through by taking many pt jobs, crappy jobs or move somewhere else to get a job.
But I am sure that those that were not accustomed to working or could not work ended up on the street...and perhaps, those on both sides of this equation had friends to rely upon.

My brother moved back in with my mom after college. He lived in probably the most upscale neighborhood in the SF bay area, when fishing on the weekdays, laid around with his girlfriend...One day I said, "Who's the dummy here? You or me!?" He laughed. We both did. Finally, one day, my mom said, "I'm selling the house. You have to go." I think he was about 30. He's doing fine, now. Not an over achiever, at all.

My eldest nephew will not go to a homeless shelter because it interferes with his smoking,drinking and drug use and the curfew. My sister keeps letting him come back and he is a mooch. He will do a chore around the house that doesn't need to be done or creation impression that it needed to be done and say that is for the food as his contribution to the expenses.

Had just such a situation here in Weddington NC about 10 years ago. I found out about it because I was driving through town and saw smoke. A house was on fire...a 3,000 sq foot house in a very upscale neighborhood. It seems a 45 year old "Left behind" guys mother had died. He had failed at life several years ago and had moved back in with her. She died and left him everything....well the house still had a mortgage and dumbass didn't keep up the payments after momma died...I guess her social security paid the mortgage. The bank moved to repossess, the sheriff was dispatched, Nitwit barricaded himself in the house, cracked off a few rounds form an SKS rifle..[I found it later in the rubble] and sometime after the house caught fire and burned him up with it. I don't know if he shot himself or not....SWAT was certainly not in evidence when I drove by and the house was smoking. It burned flat to the ground, and the neighbors all related to the newspaper that while they were sad anyone was dead....they weren't unhappy that he was no longer in the neighborhood as the guy was an eratic pain in the ass.

I know several of the situations of the adult children/elder parents enough to comment on and relate. The first two and fifth are sponges, or at least close enough to it while the third and fourth actually took care of their parents. The first two are still current while the last three have fully ran their course and the parents have passed.
1. Mid 40's child. Complete lack of desire for responsibility on the child's part. Moved away to live with someone else, then moved back years later. Adult child has varying little to no income and supported by the elder parents continuing to work years after they wanted to retire.
2. Adult children are the Grandson (40ish), Granddaughter (late 20's) and her live in.
He's too careless and irresponsible (self admitted) with bills to live by himself, so he pays his Grandmother (late 70's) who also works. The Granddaughter and her live in are complete sponges, neither works anywhere for long, and neither contributes.
3. Adult Grandson was raised by and then lived with his Grandmother until she passed. He supported her and increasingly assisted financially.
4. Adult Son moved back home after exiting the military, then took care of his mother and disabled brother until her passing, then found an assisted community setting for his brother and continues to the present to both assist in care and support his brother.
5. Adult Daughter never left her parents house. Retained the entire estate after their passing, having previously alienated her sisters.

I am not sure why 3 and 4 are so drastically different than the others. But the differences were there from the beginning. Unlike the others; they always held productive jobs and ended up nearly fully financially supporting their parents in the end.
The fifth one always worked but never contributed.