I thought this was a really good talk. The speaker, Brené Brown, makes the assertion that all shame comes from a fear of disconnection. That is, people ask themselves, "Is there something about me that if other people know it or see it, I won't be worthy of connection?"

In other words, people have an intimate desire to be connected with one another, and it is the fear of losing connection that causes people to hide certain characteristics about themselves, and to feel shame.

But Brené Brown says that in order for genuine connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen – really seen. We have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

She also talked about how, in her research, she was able to divide people she interviewed into two distinct groups: people who had a strong sense of love and belonging, and people who didn't.

She also noted that there was really only one variable which separated these two groups from each other, and that variable was a sense of worthiness. That is, the people who had a strong sense of love and belonging believed they were worthy of love and belonging.

She then wanted to know what led to that sense of worthiness. So she collected her notes and focused on just the people who had that sense of worthiness, analyzing the data to try and see what other characteristics they had in common that could lead to a sense of worthiness. And what she found, the thing that they all had in common, was a sense of courage.

She then goes on to say that the English word 'courage' comes from the Latin word 'cor,' meaning 'heart.' And the original definition of 'courage,' when it was first introduced into the English language meant, "Tell the story of who you are with your whole heart."

So the people who had a sense of worthiness, a sense of love and belonging, were the people who had the courage to reveal their whole selves, complete with all their flaws and shortcomings as individuals. They had the courage to be imperfect, to be authentic, and that is what made them feel worthy of love.

One especially poignant point of her talk which I thought might really appeal to the Objectivist crowd was how she pointed out that before we can love other people or be compassionate towards those around us, we must first love and be compassionate towards ourselves. If we are not kind to ourselves first, we cannot be kind to others.

Another thing that Brené Brown noticed was that these people who had the courage to be imperfect were able to form genuine connections with others as a result of their authenticity. They were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they really were. They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that which made them vulnerable... made them beautiful.

They talked about how being vulnerable was necessary, and how success required a willingness to take the first step, to be the one who initiates an action, to do something where there were no guarantees. They believed that the willingness to take risks, and to invest in relationships which may or may not work out, was fundamental. The applications which this concept has to business and entrepreneurship should be obvious.

Brené Brown said that this revelation came as quite a shock to her, because she was a researcher, and part of a researcher's job is to analyze everything and organize it all into neat little boxes so that they control and predict the outcomes. But the information she was collecting in her research was telling her that the way to live a fulfilling life was to stop trying to control and predict, and instead learn to embrace uncertainty and vulnerability. It doesn't take an economist to see the correlation this principle has to free market economics.

One of the ways she says that people try to deal with vulnerability is by numbing it. And one of the ways that we numb it is by taking all of the things that are uncertain, and trying to make them certain. And so people develop an attitude of, "I'm right. You're wrong. Shut up." Modern politics has devolved into this exact sort of argumentation, and as a result, there's no longer any conversation or discourse in politics – there's just blame. And according to Brené Brown, blame is simply a way to discharge pain and discomfort.

Another way that we deal with vulnerability is by trying to perfect ourselves and our environment. We try to perfect our bodies through plastic surgery, and we try to perfect, most dangerously, our children. She says that the temptation of many parents is to look at their children and say something along the lines of, "Look at her, she's perfect. My job is to keep her perfect, and make sure she makes the tennis team by 5th grade, and Yale by 7th grade." But Brené Brown says this isn't the job of parents. Rather, the job of parents should be to look at their children and say, "You're imperfect, you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging." Brené Brown suggests that if there was a generation of kids raised like that, we could end many of the problems we see in the world today.

She says we like to pretend that what we do doesn't have any impact on other people. We do it in both our personal and corporate lives. Whether it's a bailout, an oil spill, a product recall, or something else, we prefer to ignore how our actions affect those around us.

Brené Brown concludes her talk by asserting that there's another way: to allow ourselves to be seen. Deeply seen. Vulnerably seen. To love with our whole hearts, even though there's no guarantee. To practice gratitude, and lean into joy, even in those moments of terror when we're wondering whether we can love someone else this much, or believe in something this passionately, or be this fierce about things. To stop, and instead of worrying about what might happen, to express gratitude, because to feel this vulnerable means we're alive. And most importantly, to believe that we are enough, that we are worthy.

Because when we start believing that, when we work from a place where we feel that we're worthy, we become kinder and gentler to ourselves, and we become kinder and gentler to the people around us. Once we have done this, she says, we can stop screaming, and start listening.

I will take Brené Brown's conclusion one step further and say that I believe each of us, as individuals, can solve a significant number of the problems in our own personal lives by following these simply guidelines. In order to be successful in life, we must connect with others. But first we must believe we are worthy of that connection. Once we believe that, once we develop that self-esteem and that inner self-love, then we can extend it to those around us. Only then will we be able to stop fighting and bickering amongst ourselves, and achieve reconciliation. Instead trying to tear each other down, we can cooperate, and together, work towards common goals that are in everybody's self-interest. In an environment such as this, the goals of the individual are not in conflict with the goals of the group, but are one and the same. Through cooperative actions, the needs of both are met and fulfilled.

Contention, argumentation, and the vehement insistence that others conform to our own way of thinking will inevitably lead to division and conflict. But humility, patience, and the willingness to listen more than we speak will lead to cooperation and understanding.

Just remember that the next time you get into an argument. ;)