Side note: Global warming is the second most important environmental issue on the menu today! Did you know that pressure increases as we convert more of our oily liquid assets into gaseous byproducts? Explanation: When a liberal farts, we all hear it, and it raises my blood pressure. Tying this in to gun control, it is clear that local enforcement is a more apt steward of proper gun control, i.e. arresting those who use guns against their fellow citizens as an initiation of force. But the people don't get it. We need to market to the new generation.

That is why in terms of guns, you need to buy local. I hereby announce my proposal that all guns purchased for private use may not travel more than 50 miles in any direction. Each gun will be fitted with a GPS to ensure that all guns are kept local. This way, your mom knows right where you are at when you're tracking a deer within a radius of less than or equal to 50 miles. I call this great new invention GPS Orgunics. Home grown insanity made just for the discriminating consumer! I will create a factory for each locality with government grants to study the effects of meeting arbitrary regulations. Here's a list of guns for a few localities:

Houston, Texas = Energy-inefficient laser pistol.
Los Angeles, California = Concealed-insecurity pocket 9mm
Boston, Mass = Drunk-proof safety revolver
St Paul, MN = Dual use ice fishing pole, long range sniper rifle
And I've only just begun!

You'll never have a better reason to liquefy your assets and purchase a gun sourced from local ingredients. Just don't blame us if the New York hot dog vendor protector 22 goes off coz you stored it too close to the heat source.