I took my leave of a group mostly comprised of college English professors with the remark,"I'll leave you to continue your discussion on how you will re-distribute my wealth."

You can't run with the wolves if you pee like a puppy.

Imagine that it's dawn on the Serengeti. Everyone starts running, the predators to get their breakfast and the prey to stay off the menu. Anyone who's standing still will be killed or will starve. That's a model for how the global market is forming, literally before our eyes. Global competition does not allow for a laid back attitude. If you're not running, you'll be run over. Some may be turned off by such a picture. I'm invigorated.

I am not arguing with you, I am explaining why I am right.

"I do not accept the unearned, neither in values nor in guilt"

That very sentence did more to change my life than anything I heard before.
That is one zinger, I'll never top.

I hear Toohey really talked you up in his last column.

You borrowed that from Peter Keating, didn't you.

I'm seriously late - 'missed this thread - but I have to put a couple of my faves:

Debate opponent: "Don't get smart with me."
Reply: "If I did, how would you know?"

"If you say the word 'challenge' around me and it doesn't involve a glove thrown at my feet and a demand that we meet at dawn for a duel to the death, I will hit you."

I much enjoyed this thread. I am the flighty flamboyant girl. I moved every 3 months for 3 years. Roughly, it was not exactly every 3 but close to it. I was trying to kick off a career as a rockstar, working 2 and 3 jobs to make ends meat, and leaving a trail of broken hearts in my wake. I never became a rock star and ended up trying to settle down with a perpetual bachelor. All I got from that was a position as a single mother. Fortunately my mom was divorcing her husband so we moved in together. It was nice for a while but I was like a caged animal chomping at the bit staying home with my young child. Fortunately, I found a great man, a machinest, who could easily be an engineer with just a little more schooling and his exact opposite-ness has completed my spontaneity. We just work, but it took us 3 hard years to figure out how to coexist, but we figured it out and have been going strong for 6 yrs in June.

I realize that your alcoholic tendency to view life as a win/lose situation is difficult for you and because of that you are being completely irrational BUT...

It is not advisable to venture unsolicited opinions. You should spare yourself the embarrassing discovery of their exact value to your listener
-Francisco D'Anconia

I like some of Weird Al's lines from "Genius in France" :

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

A few buttons missing on the remote control. (LOVE that one)

Not the sharpest hunk of cheese

dumber than a box of hair