Q: Do you cook for your women?
A: Yes, this is very important. They get a sense of pamperedness.

Q: What do you prepare?
A: Cheese eggs in bed goes over well. Just be careful not to set the bed clothing on fire.

Q: What do you do to drive women wild?
A: Never had that problem. I get them already pre-wilded.

Q: Where do you take them on dates?
A: They ALL like to dance. For some reason, it's getting harder to find discotheques, though.

Q: Many of our readers are into styling. What do you wear at these establishments?
A: You want to be in style, but not really stand out. Let your dancing technique take care of that. So, I recommend just the basics--you know, satin open-necked shirt, gold chains, polyester slacks, Corafram shoes, and so forth.

Q: How much should you spend on a date?
A: Depends on the gal. Some like fancy roses, Godiva chocolate bons bons, etc. Others are looking for a good provider who won't spend the family jewels, so to speak. In this case, avoid overt display of opulence. Pick the latter up in a Volvo wagon, even if you have to rent one. You'll have her eating out of your hand. Keep well-stocked with M&M's. Just the plain ones; peanut M&M's are arrogant.

Q: Where is the best place to meet women?
A: My buddy, Fred, used to recommend the Piggly Wiggly of St. Andrews. I've had better luck with public libraries and funerals.

Q: What's the most unusual date you've had?
A: Triplets

Q: One final question. How does a guy relate to the modern woman?
A: I don't date relations. Just kidding. I have a second cousin from West Virginia.

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