Children

Posted by rtsmith67 10 years, 1 month ago to Philosophy
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Of all the things that Ayn Rand and the Rand Institute have produced over the years, there is one thing that I believe has been seriously overlooked and something that is most essential: Guidance on how to rear children, especially girls, in the ideas of Objectivism. I would dearly love to find something, anything, to help me in Raising Dagney.


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  • Posted by $ Susanne 10 years, 1 month ago
    Allow your girl to think, to dream, to imagine... do not restrict her knowledge, but feed it generously... Do not inhibit their curiosity; instead assist them in being and becoming curious. Never give the pat and trite answer "Girls don't do ...." but encourage them to break free of the artificial molds placed around them and stand clear of the flask box hemming them in. Challenge them, give them information with which they can spread their wings, and the freedom to be correct or not... teach them the value of standing up for their beliefs, and the skills to face down those who would shut them up and treat them as insignificant.

    And oh yeah... give them a copy of Atlas Shrugged while they still have that early intuition to read, and don't be afraid to answer questions you will be asked. Show your girl that being strong, independent, and resourceful ARE, indeed, feminine traits and that in so doing the paths will open up to them... not to become subservient to another, but to KNOW, FEEL, and BELIEVE in her own self worth and value!
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    • Posted by CircuitGuy 10 years, 1 month ago
      I agree with everything Susanne says.

      My 4 y/o girl is pretty good about asserting control over her world. The 6 y/o boy is more likely to grudgingly give into others. If the issue is sharing his toy with his sister, I won't let him share grudgingly. If it is *his* then he needs to pick what *he* wants to do and execute it-- no grudging sharing.

      We also give them money for doing things beyond the normal abilities of their age that we would otherwise pay someone else to do.

      We give into their reasoning, even if the reasoning is at a child's level, just b/c we want to encourage reason over emotionalism or force.
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  • Posted by $ Snezzy 10 years, 1 month ago
    The girls I've met who are the most intellectually centered seem to be the ones taking riding lessons. When I show up at a church or home to provide pony rides there is occasionally a youngster, almost always a girl, between 8 and 14 years, who is willing to help. Willing and able.

    I allowed one girl, about 13, to walk one of my more difficult ponies. After ten minutes she told me, "Snorts and I are going to go over there and have a discussion." She spent about five minutes alone with Snorts, and then returned. Snorts was suddenly (and now remains) a better pony!

    Heck I don't know how to retrain a pony in five minutes, but this kid does.

    Any girl, any child, who asks for a horse or pony should be given riding lessons. The responsibility required is awesome. (Kids like that word.) Of course, not all kids are up to the task. One boy told me, "I know how to ride. I've seen it on television."

    Additionally, girls should not be led away from mathematics. Mathematics and riding both require hands-on, do-it-yourself activity. You can't learn math by staring at your math teacher's work, or by copying someone else.

    I'm also beginning to think that horsemanship ought to be a necessary qualification for anyone to run for political office. There would thus be the possibility that election would result in our getting BOTH ends of a horse.
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    • Posted by skidance 10 years, 1 month ago
      I would like to add that an emphasis should be placed on individual sports, especially those involving balance: Horseback riding (great suggestion, Snezzy), ice skating, yoga, martial arts, gymnastics, skiing, etc. With such activities, one learns from one's mistakes; what did I do to cause that fall? How can I prevent doing it again? Thus individual responsibility and self-reflection, as well as the principle of cause and effect.
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      • Posted by khalling 10 years, 1 month ago
        I agree with individual activities. Girls can tend to "group" socially, so some time spent pursuing an individual project or passion is important. My kids were into tennis and my daughter was also into dance. There's alot of personal growth and achievement in team sports, but there's also a ton of compromise. There needs to be some balance to that, so personal sacrifices aren't internalized as just the way things are. I do not want to dump on team sports, but group think and taking one for the team think pervades the family attitudes and the way coaches then teach their courses in school and the way tehy want you to vote for bond issues and then a mayor-do it for the city. I think I am a little biased here in my thinking...maybe someone can give me the Objectivist perspective on child development through team sports. lol
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      • Posted by $ Snezzy 10 years, 1 month ago
        Yes, but horsemanship goes far beyond other sports. There is a tremendous amount of technical material to learn, and even the most casual rider has the responsibility of caring properly for a half-ton animal that could kill her.

        Some people say, "Sport? You just sit there." Good riders (internally seething at that remark) try to remain composed and say, "Fine. You get on my horse and do what I just did."

        If we ever encounter alien species visiting from the planet Beetle Juice, I'd select a horseman to be the first to try to communicate with them.
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        • Posted by Bobhummel 10 years, 1 month ago
          Horsemanship and leadership go hand in hand together. Both my children learned the fundamentals of person responsibility, ethics, patience and leadership through developing horsemanship skills in the U S Pony Club programs at a very early age.
          Sneezy is right on here.
          Cheers
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    • Posted by $ winterwind 10 years, 1 month ago
      It probably wasn't necessarily horsemanship; it was more likely to be being allowed to do something she knew how to do and not being questioned about it.
      Good Job, either way!
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  • Posted by $ Snezzy 10 years, 1 month ago
    Here's more...

    My wife reminds me that it's important if at all possible to keep kids out of the public schools. Even if your are not religious, some of the church schools are good. Home schooling and Montessori are good choices for some.

    She says, "The public schools now offer recruitment for young girls into prostitution and drugs, or sometimes into the profession of 'government-funded unwed mother.' "
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    • Posted by VictorianMedievalist 10 years, 1 month ago
      Absolutely! The best thing you can do for your child is to NOT let them go to public school. Send them to a private school or home school them. That way you can have at least some control over what they are taught even when they aren't with you.
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  • Posted by $ Maree 10 years, 1 month ago
    Rts i also agree with snezzy and Susanne. I had to sell my horse to go to uni.
    Re sport - i am biased here and no idea if you have Orienteering nearby - it is an excellent competitive sport or just recreation for all ages. The teens in my club are 100'/. Amazing young people. Several are home schooled. And orienteering is so not a team sport. My decisions and my results in a race are all mine.
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  • Posted by mckenziecalhoun 10 years, 1 month ago
    Respond here.
    Professional teacher, raised my own daughter accordingly and helped a lot of parents appreciate it even if I never named it such.

    If enough people respond, perhaps we'll have to set up a Skype Meeting or something of the sort, if that's okay with the forum moderators. Whatever is ethical and according to the rules of the forum (which I agreed to).
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  • Posted by desimarie23 10 years, 1 month ago
    I agree 100% with Susanne's advice.

    My mother tried to raise me to be a housewife. My dream was to be a firefighter and her response was "girls don't do that, that's a man's job." Fortunately, I had a mind of my own from the start...something my father supported from day one. My father also pushed me to work for what I wanted, and to take responsibility for my actions. If I failed at something, he asked me how I could do it better next time. He was not only teaching me to rely on my intuitions and think for myself, he instilled confidence in me that I would not have gained from my mother's way of thinking.

    I don't have children yet, I am too focused on my career as a firefighter, but I hope to raise my children how my father raised me...self-reliant, brave, and strong-willed.
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  • Posted by Temlakos 10 years, 1 month ago
    Rand did not overlook children completely. Consider:

    1. The "fishwife" at the grocery store, who has two strapping young sons who exude more self-confidence than Dagny had seen from most adults in the outside world.

    2. Henry Rearden's reflection on the kind of God-awful educational system that produced a Wet Nurse. And set him up to get himself killed on the one occasion he decided to take a moral stand.
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  • Posted by $ blarman 10 years, 1 month ago
    As a father of eight girls, I'll just chime in here.

    Should you teach your daughters to think? Absolutely. Should you teach them to value themselves as more than sexual objects? PLEASE, YES. Should you teach them to look for and seek out value and to educate themselves? Affirmative. But if the price of their achievement comes at the cost of a family, I'd strongly encourage you to rethink whether you want this for their benefit or for your vicarious benefit. Neither money nor achievement can buy happiness.

    Do you want to leave the legacy of a footnote in the annals of history, or a living legacy of progeny who were taught to think and shape the world? Mothers are that great force. To me, Dagney's accomplishments pale in comparison to what my wife does every day. Dagney helped build a railroad. My wife and I are building a voting base.
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    • Posted by $ jlc 10 years, 1 month ago
      Blarman -

      There was once a distributor of our product in Texas, whom I had flown out to give a hand with demoing a big client. He was a nice guy, and we got along well. We were walking out of a large facility, where we had demoed and he stopped and said, "You have told me about how much you enjoy your work at your company. I know this may be against my best interest but: Don't forget about having a life and family. You don't want to miss the best part of being alive." I replied that I have never wanted children and that having an adventuresome and productive life WAS what I want to do with my time.

      I have seen many women 'bullied' into having children and a family by their relatives (who are sure they 'know what is best' for the girl). All you have to do is to teach your children to think for themselves. If _they_ decide that they want to have children...eh, they are capable of thinking this up for themselves.

      I still think well of that distributor for giving a damn about someone as a person rather than as a business-unit, though. He does not know it, but he gets some special perks sometimes.

      Jan (relatives bounced on this conditioning!)
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      • Posted by $ blarman 10 years, 1 month ago
        My caution is in concluding that material accomplishment is equivalent to happiness. It is the rare person indeed who (on their deathbed) laments that they didn't spend enough time at the office. Charles Dickens makes this point eloquently with Ebenezer Scrooge in "A Christmas Carol" and I think it worth the cautionary tale.

        There is no amount of time at the office that would be worth seeing my child's first smile, hearing their first word, seeing their first steps. The magic of such is something only experience can describe. But again, to each their own.
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        • Posted by $ jlc 10 years, 1 month ago
          Indeed. A 'family and children' sounds like a good description of hell for me. I cannot personally understand who would want that...but I acknowledge that (statistically) approx 7 billion people our of 7 billion people would agree with you.

          There are so many forces pushing people towards having children and family (including biology) that I really don't think that you need worry that daughters taught independence will fail to have the family concept included in their potential world view.

          Jan
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  • Posted by plusaf 10 years, 1 month ago
    And I think it would be wonderful if you had not included "especially girls" in your comment/question.

    I have a step-grandson who is extremely bright (but, imnsho,) who is being raised by rather (-to-extremely) liberal parents, to my dismay.

    Again, he's bright and articulate and at 14, still amazingly open-minded to intellectual discussions, and enjoys my company and probing questions. He describes himself as a 'sponge for ideas.'

    Yesterday at lunch, we got into a discussion of Critical Thinking, Root Cause Analysis and the like, starting with "why are there red-light cameras at intersections?"

    About 45 minutes later, the topics under discussion had ranged from Education to ISIS to political power and greed and Hallowe'en candy and more. All I had to do was to keep asking him "Well, why is THAT the case? What caused THAT?"

    Most 'adult humans' persist in such a probing conversation for no more than two or three "Why?"s... He counted something like 14 or so 'levels of why' that we'd explored, starting with a subject as focused as "Why are there red-light cameras at intersections."

    I wanted him to realize that the Answer to the First Why is NOT the True Root Cause of the Problem, although I believe most people stop at that level and propose and try to implement "Solutions" based on that First Level, and therein lie most of the recurring and most recalcitrant "problems" people complain about today.

    He actually enjoyed the conversation and looks forward to our next 'probing' discussion.

    I love that kid! Unfortunately, in my experience, he's also extremely rare.

    How do we create and encourage more 'children' (of all flavors) to think like that...?
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  • Posted by $ winterwind 10 years, 1 month ago
    Also, along with much of the good advice here, allow her to be feminine when and if she likes. Do not discourage an interest in jewelry, clothes and makeup just because you [correctly] want to raise a strong person. One of the things I despise about the early Feminist movement was the "of course you don't want to wear a pretty dress" movement.
    Etiquette is important for males and females to learn - it is the science of making other people comfortable.
    She should know age- and size-appropriate self defense when she starts to walk. A friend's daughter began to shoot [on Dad's lap, with Dad's finger over her finger on the trigger] at 2 1/2.
    Respect her, and earn her respect.

    There is so much to say here, maybe a book needs writing. hmmmm.....I already know who I want to write the first chapter - the father who took his daughter shooting.
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  • Posted by wiggys 10 years, 1 month ago
    I think that Ayn Rand her self was as good a roll model as one could find for girls to follow; boys too I might add.
    so if you want to know the best way to educate your child introduce them as early in life as possible to Objectivism. Or you could write to L. Peikoff and ask how he raised his daughter. all of the information is out there.
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  • Posted by $ Stormi 10 years, 1 month ago
    Start early, let the girl know she has choices, but also responsibilities. Horse ownership is fantastic, from feeding, to cleaning stalls to grooming, all these teach responsibility. Riding is a thing girls are equal at, and it is not about competitions, but the girl out on her horse, in control of the horse, thinking on her own, and dreaming. She is her own person.
    Give "Anthem" as early as reading ability and understanding allows. It will be before "Atlas Shrugged", but will open the door to that thought process. Include her in meal time discussions of news or politics or, as my dad did, running a business. She will pick up on economics early that way. When I used to ask for help, my dad used to ask, "Can you handle it", and I would say "yes" - at which point he would tell me to do it. In schools, girls are taught to seek group think, peer approval in handling everything. Let her know she is an individual and does not need 20 people to change a light bulb.
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