Disheartening? Yes.
Your timing was good. The context; yesterday was the first anxiety attack in my life. I've directly faced my mortality plenty of times in the past. This was so different. Nothing to fear but fear. The trigger was looking into the technical and legal terms of vaccine after opening an email from the VA. Afterward the research into the CDC publications where the term is used and then to the Phizer and Moderna websites ...just more continuity of a lie. My intellect puts this all into perspective rather quickly. The unforseen reaction to the potential mass harm, to include murder, of my fellow servicemen hit hard. The ability of a human to extrapolate into the future....boon or bane....? It's as if living The Illustrated Man. To begin calming, I defaulted to Paul Atreides "Fear is the mind killer...".

There have been only two works of "fiction" that I've experienced that elicited such a fear, anger, disparity within.

The first was Hunger Games. These are the faces of the children of war. How many possible permutations of mental illness can there be, perpetuated by the unseen forces of manipulators?

The second, I'll preface to a response of mine, to one of your posts about a week ago, regarding the manifestations of Universe 25. The day after this posting I had the chance to indulge myself in a reading that has been sitting for quite a few months....beckoning. By page 20 I realized the author, through awareness or by chance, was expressing that which John Calhoun had observed in his experiments. On page 194 the expression of a choice to break free of the experiment or go with the flow compelled me to mark the passage. Synchronicity? Gordon Dickson: "The Universe is stranger than we imagine, in fact it is far stranger than we can imagine." Am i a resident or an escapee? How to escape the madness, how to insulate me and mine from the insanity. The gut-wrenching conclusion, of some, is to deny the "experiment" its fodder. I think you know whom I reference now.

So....thanks for the gut-punch and the counter-punch.
If you should find yourself on the brink of foundering.....look for me.....I'll be the big guy in the red hat making a cut through the jellyfish.