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I will fully confess that my own commitment to lifetime bachelorhood is at least partly a reflection of my own independent spirit, that I do not think in my case, that I could commit my life to another person. I could never see myself as a husband and father. And in that respect I see some of myself in people like Rearden and even Ellis Wyatt.
This is where you find me facing the corner giggling to myself....leave me alone! I'm having too much fun.
"I consider marriage a very important institution, but it is important when and if two people have found the person with whom they wish to spend the rest of their lives — a question of which no man or woman can be automatically certain. When one is certain that one’s choice is final, then marriage is, of course, a desirable state. But this does not mean that any relationship based on less than total certainty is improper. I think the question of an affair or a marriage depends on the knowledge and the position of the two persons involved and should be left up to them. Either is moral, provided only that both parties take the relationship seriously and that it is based on values."
-Ayn Rand's Interview with Playboy
TLDR
Books are a reflection of an Author, at the time she was writing Atlas Shrugged Ayn Rand was experiencing personal struggles with her relationship, the book reflects this. She is human like the rest of us and she did grow and learn from her experiences for the better in my opinion.
When I read Atlas Shrugged, I remember thinking "Man, I wish my dad could read this without his religious blinders triggering him into throwing it down and stamping on it like it's a snake". Same goes for George Carlin's comedy. I really think he would have enjoyed and appreciated it immensely if he could have gotten over his delicate sensitivity to swear words.
And I have respect for your choice, as for now at least it is the right one for you. Forgive me if I hope that someone comes along who is worthy of you.
The answer to my question is contained within it. Both a "yes" and a "no" and a SO I see(d). If/when a thing is hard to understand, I try standing on my head, turning it around, or sending my dog after it while I work on something else. LOL
For a good parent who actually cares about their children, I've heard many others too describe it as a magical, life-changing, empowering, and awakening thing and I believe it even though I may not get to see and experience it. I certainly do not wish to convey that one choice or the other is more right for anyone else, as I've known many who have died from the oppressive sides of both loneliness/isolation AND bad marriages that they were both legally and religiously bound to. Each must work out their own salvation through their own careful and mindful choices, not through finding and following a leader who pretends to hold the truth for you.
From an outside perspective, all I can maybe see and suggest is something that you already appear to have a pretty good handle on, but so many don't: Just listen & take them seriously. Parents have a tendency to "know more than you" try to do all of the teaching and thinking for their kids ("because I said so") and be quicker to silence them than to listen for what they have to give back. You give them more than you realize and most folks don't take kindly to their flaws being seen and pointed out (especially by their owned kids), but they're no less there to either be reckoned with & integrated or suppressed with the seeds of resentment/rebellion sub-consciously planted and grown (both ways). Thank you for being a good parent and raising the kind of strong, smart, and healthy people who are able to adapt, compete, survive, and thrive in a world that seems more intent on breeding mentally and physically fragile pugs that are just "cute" (allegedly) & fun to play with, trick, and laugh at their silliness.
"You who hold the children dear, look after us, the little 1s. Forever in the world we wander. Our happiness is in your hands. Happiness comes. Happiness goes. But you remain omnipotent kings." (just a quote at the end of a good song I was listening to this morning before reading your reply)
https://youtu.be/0AYzzzBaPBI
I couldn’t disagree more. Each of us is an individual. As someone who is not committed to another person, including children, you are able to know and experience the positive effects that has had on your life and growth. You actually mention several times that what is true for you may not hold for others, which is commendable.
In any case, I can tell you from experience, that my “rate and scope of personal growth” has been multiplied enormously by the experience of being committed and raising children. I was amazed by the things my children brought to me that I would never have experienced otherwise. A small example: my child who wanted to play piano opened me up to becoming a decent classical pianist myself.
The most important thing to me is that there is nothing worse than someone getting married and having children when it is not what they want to do. It is an individual choice that each of us makes.
And to the original question, I think that Rand had no need to have children in her novel in order to present her philosophy. And it is also something she knew nothing about, and therefore was wise to not address.
And so...yesterday'''s and today's choice is to help my ex-wife and husband-in-law in a roofing endeavor....oh there's a story there!
Relationships and choices.....
It makes those of independent thinking keep a low profile
My wife and I are very happily married, but that is rare indeed.
I'm a happily single 37 year old dude & I do feel like I'm on a good path for me, but I certainly don't think it's right for everyone (That just wouldn't be very sustainable now, would it?). On the contrary, I sincerely hope that the younger guys who look up to me a bit can see both the good and the bad sides of me, rather than assuming that it's all sunshine & roses walking alone. I think especially now the majority of folks who have grown up with access to so many brain-tickling things to disassociate from reality whenever it feels like it's just too much, there are more people out there than ever who never learned how to be alone and it could very easily drive a person crazy or nihilistic.
Nature and nurture just shaped me a little differently and I never could quite settle for the "normal" or popular things/beliefs. On the plus side, I've been more free to explore (both my inner and outer world), find and follow a creative hobby/skill in my own free time (time is a luxury that few can afford, but in that respect "I am the 1%"), and dive a little deeper into way more good books, articles, lectures, documentaries, and podcasts than would even be possible for someone married &/or with children. But the downside of that is that I have to actively & mindfully manage & balance my own issues and left versus right brains, have to take care of myself into old age even (or however long I'm here), and will almost certainly die alone but I have come to terms with that. My dad passed away at home (not in a nursing home) with his whole family surrounding his bed and speaking to him, but still he passed away alone slipping back into his mind well before "giving up the ghost" and it seems like maybe we all do, so I try to maintain the best relationship I can manage to find with my other side.
In summary, the trade off seems to be that committing to pouring of one's self into other people and things and child-rearing almost certainly diminishes one's rate & scope of future personal progress and growth but while someone who walks alone might be able to explore & improve themselves a little further, they also have to face the facts that the further you go & more different from "the norm" you grow, the harder it is to find like-minded folks & everything you've learned but failed to share with others in your life dies with you (so my everlong quest is to keep searching for wherever I might be able to best fit and matter enough to others to be able to share and pass on whatever I can of the good things I've found). The shamans, artists, dream-readers, visionaries, and other such folks who find or make their own paths alone still need the rest of the tribe as much as the tribe needs them to keep positive progress and innovation balanced and free-flowing. Just my perspective on it. It makes sense to me that the biggest movers & shakers might often be single or in failed marriages without kids because they have more freedom to find or make their own way with more focus & less distraction.
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